Chapter Eighteen

Nesta completes another grueling descent of the House's stairwell, reaching step one thousand before climbing back up, arriving exhausted at the landing. Cassian confronts her about what upset her, leading to an intense emotional exchange where he reveals his own traumatic past and breaking point, ultimately resulting in them kissing.

Nesta descends the stairwell in a state of mental anguish, her body burning with exertion as she counts down the steps, desperate to silence her thoughts through physical exhaustion. She reaches step one thousand before ascending again, stopping five times to rest, arriving back at the landing completely drained. Cassian waits for her, and when she tries to leave, he blocks her path with his wings, asking what step she reached. She reveals one thousand. He presses her about what upset her, and she reluctantly mentions Elain's words about her father's death. Cassian observes that others haven't signed up for training, but Nesta dismisses his comfort, expressing despair about her prospects for recovery compared to warriors who have trained for centuries. Cassian counters that meaningful change takes longer than two weeks, referencing Feyre's journey, but Nesta refuses to hear comparisons to her sister. When she demands he put away his wings, he steps closer and shares his own harrowing story: he slaughtered those responsible for his mother's suffering and death, a process that took him ten years to come to terms with. He tells her she can take however long she needs. The conversation shifts as Cassian assesses her with unflinching honesty, moving closer until only inches separate them. Nesta insists he doesn't understand that she is different from him and the others, but he dismisses her protest. When she makes a dismissive comment about Rhysand, Cassian becomes angry and grips her wrist, challenging her to make him let go. She struggles against him verbally, calling him an arrogant bastard, and when he releases her with a smirk of victory, she grabs his leather jacket and pulls him into a kiss.