Chapter Forty-Eight

Cassian wakes Nesta and forces her to begin a grueling multi-day hiking expedition through the mountains, making her carry the heavy pack while he walks unencumbered. During the arduous trek to the Gerthys River, Cassian observes Nesta's despair and realizes she harbors thoughts of self-harm, troubled by her apparent indifference to the danger of falling from the heights.

Nesta wakes to Cassian demanding she eat before a long day of hiking. He reveals that she must carry the canvas pack containing their supplies because his wings prevent him from wearing a backpack. After eating and attending to her needs, Nesta shoulders the heavy load—nearly a third of her body weight—and begins hiking behind Cassian at dawn. The day is beautiful but brutal: she climbs uphill through burning legs and labored breathing, then descends a perilous mountain path where the pack threatens to tip her forward. The journey takes hours without mercy or rest. At the Gerthys River, they stop for a thirty-minute lunch of cheese and bread. Nesta drinks deeply from the river and collapses on its bank. Cassian offers her a canteen and tells her to rest, instructing her to fill it with water so she doesn't faint and fall off the mountain. When he mentions falling, Nesta's expression reveals an unsettling indifference—a wish for that outcome. Cassian, internally disturbed by this realization, recognizes that Nesta's self-hatred runs deeper than he understood, manifesting in a desire to cease existing. He reflects that these mountains were once places of healing and hopes the land might help her. He commands her to continue hiking, and she follows in heavy silence as they resume their trek toward their destination.