91. Why He Froze

In an extended flashback interlude, Kaladin recalls training under Sergeant Tukks and learning why he froze during practice—he realized he was capable of killing, which terrified him. Back in Shadesmar, Kaladin struggles with insomnia and emotional paralysis, deflecting Syl's concerns while they prepare for their mission.

The chapter opens with Kaladin scrubbing crem from a barrack floor while serving in Amaram's army. Sergeant Tukks approaches and reveals that the cleaning assignment is not punishment but a social ritual to help Kaladin fit in with his squad. When Tukks mentions finding Kaladin's brother Tien in the Seventh division, Kaladin becomes anxious, fearing his sensitive brother will be forced to train with weapons. Tukks later initiates a deeper conversation about Kaladin's earlier freeze during combat practice. Initially, Kaladin denies fear of injury, and Tukks gently probes further. Kaladin eventually confesses that he froze not from fear of getting hurt, but from fear of hurting others. Tukks responds with wisdom, explaining that caring about one's squad and avoiding casual violence are signs of sanity, not weakness. He advises Kaladin to focus on protecting his squadmates rather than worrying about larger warfare. That evening, Kaladin finds the other soldiers treating him with newfound friendliness following his discipline. However, the chapter reveals that Kaladin never told Tukks the full truth: his freeze came from a terrifying realization that he actually possessed the capacity to kill—a dark potential within himself. The scene shifts to Shadesmar, where Kaladin sits alone contemplating the alien landscape, refusing sleep. Syl joins him and expresses concern about his insomnia and emotional shutdown. When she mentions they need food and weapons, Kaladin deflects by proposing practical plans. Syl presses, noting he became catatonic and something is fundamentally wrong, but Kaladin minimizes her concerns, claiming he was merely surprised to encounter Sah and Moash. The chapter ends with Kaladin extracting himself from Syl's embrace as the others begin waking.