9: DAMNATION

In this chapter, an interlude from the main narrative, we witness the breaking of bridge crew soldier and slave, a man called 'the youth' who reminds him of his brother, dies on the next run. For the first time in a year, the hardened and defeated man that once was a soldier and leader succumbs to tears.

The chapter opens with an epigraph about ten people with glowing swords facing a black, white, and red wall. We are shown the internal state of a bridge crew soldier who has been assigned to Bridge Four, a crew with the highest casualty rate among all bridge crews—in his first three weeks, twenty-three of twenty-five original members have died. The soldier sits in the rain, emotionally numb, with a small sentient spren named called 'I', watching him with concern. He contemplates the futility and rules of bridge crew service: charges against the enemy are mandatory on penalty of beheading, while even success often means death by arrow. The soldier reflects philosophically on his father's teaching about those who take lives and save lives, realizing he has become merely a victim in the middle—something to be killed or protected, with no agency. When new recruits arrive, the soldier spots a boy of fourteen or fifteen years who resembles his lost brother or friend, triggering the instinct to protect. However, his conviction crumbles when he considers his past failures. The spren, sensing his despair, announces she must leave him, fearing she will lose herself if she remains, and vanishes as a cloud of leaves. On the very next bridge run, the boy-recruit dies, his corpse lying with another dead bridgeman whose blood drips onto the boy's open eye. That night, in the barracks during a highstorm, the soldier finally breaks and weeps for the first time in a year, recognizing he is spiritually dead.