39: BURNED INTO HER

After witnessing the brutal killings in the alley, and now carrying a stolen fabrial while her unsuspecting ward studies moralistic philosophy, a guilt-ridden and increasingly paranoid young scribe draws obsessively from memory, wrestles with philosophical justifications, then attempts unsuccessfully to understand how the ancient device actually functions.

In her small chamber at the King's Palace, nestled inside the palanaeum and library at the city of kharbranth, shallan sketches and re-sketches her memories of jasnah's annihilation of four would-be attackers from a few days prior. She has deliberately drawn these scenes multiple times, unable to escape the vivid impressions burned into her mind. The images trouble her deeply; she attempts to assuage her distress by consulting philosophical texts, exploring frameworks from starkness to idealism to aspiration, searching for justification of jasnah's lethal actions. Each philosophy offers some exoneration, yet none fully quiets her conscience. This intellectual exercise becomes self-damning when she realizes the same frameworks apply equally to her own crime: stealing the soulcaster from her patron. Her guilt multiplies when she inadvertently sketches a dead man in fine clothing in a lavished room—a scene she did not witness, suggesting an involuntary memory or troubling knowledge. When a master-servant delivers a spanreed message, shallan contacts her brother nan balat via the resonant gem, informing him she has obtained the fabrial but will not flee kharbranth yet. Her reasoning is strategically sound: if jasnah has not discovered the substitution, premature departure would provoke immediate suspicion and relentless pursuit across borders. Better to remain nearby, deflect blame onto the ardents (who are already under jasnah's suspicion), and suffer swift consequences if caught rather than drag her entire house into prolonged conflict with the princess and her resources. nan balat agrees reluctantly, though he warns shallan that the mysterious men who gave their father the original fabrial have visited again and asked about her, deeply troubling him. after burning the message, shallan retrieves the stolen soulcaster from its hiding place in her trunk and moves it to her safepouch for additional security, as a woman's intimate container would be difficult to search without gross violation of custom. she escapes the confines of her quarters and spends two hours in the palace gardens, sketching snails and cremlings interacting peacefully with shalebark plants—a moment of respite before attempting to activate the fabrial. sitting alone in a secluded dead-end of the shalebark maze, she dons the device and experiments with various commands (smoke, crystal, fire) while holding different objects, but nothing responds. frustrated and realizing that luesh, who might have explained the activation method, is now dead, she wonders if the soulcaster is useless to her family without such knowledge. she considers offering it to the veden king or the ardents in exchange for protection, but recognizes this would constitute an even deeper betrayal of jasnah. She resolves to continue searching the palanaeum for answers, or risk asking kabsal—both options fraught with danger of exposure.