Chapter 14

Carl, Donut, and Mongo enter the Mock Battle Arena to test combat mechanics before the assault. They attempt two easy-difficulty battles: the first against a Teletubby-like creature that Mongo instantly kills, and the second against a Squonk—a legendary, miserable creature that requires no fighting and dissolves on its own.

Carl and Donut enter the Mock Battle Arena with Mongo, finding themselves in a cavernous space. Donut customizes the environment to the Arena of the Eulogist, a colosseum filled with thousands of cheering Nebular cultists. The arena's interface initially blocks their view with floating cards, but Donut learns to resize and reposition them. They attempt an easy-difficulty battle, but Mongo kills the first opponent—a purple, Teletubby-like creature—almost instantly by charging and tearing it apart. After resetting, they try again on easy difficulty with Mongo benched, switching the environment to an Abandoned Arena without the crowd. Donut pulls a hand with two Time Extend cards, a Combo card, and a Stout card. Carl instructs her to discard the Combo card to ensure they have a totem available. She summons Geraldo, a Level 70 Monk Seal Picket Sentry, who arrives with exaggerated kung fu sound effects and asks where the crabs are. Carl has Donut buff Geraldo with the Stout card and one Time Extend card, discovering that uncommon totems can only hold two utility cards maximum. The actual opponent emerges as a Squonk—a Level 35 legendary creature described as extremely ugly and depressed. The creature simply rolls over, farts, cries, and dissolves into water without fighting. Carl concludes they should attempt medium difficulty instead.